I know it’s only been a week but it feels a hell of a lot longer

I know I said I was gonna update this blournal on a more regular basis but for some reason, I just haven’t been felt like writing anything for the past week or so. That, and I don’t think I’ve been in a particularly great headspace as of late. I’m not entirely sure why. Halloween’s only a couple of days away and I’m looking forward to showing off my outfit for this year, but I don’t feel quite as exuberant about it as I should be.

I’m assuming part of that is because I feel really worn out by the headlines. It’s all the usual shit but amped up to eleven (AI is being forced into everything, the war in Ukraine still shows no sign of letting up while Russia is taunting the West, prices are still going up, the far right is still stirring up hatred and discontent, marginalised people are seeing their basic human rights being denied or taken away, Trump is escalating and normalising his particular brand of spiteful, idiotic cruelty and although they’ve agreed to a ceasefire, Israel is still carrying out attacks on Gaza. The headlines are bleak and social media offers little to no respite from all that shit. Yeah, I know that none of this directly affects me but it frustrates me to no end that the world is being led by demagogues and oligarchs who continue to pander, lie, deceive, dehumanise and deflect at every turn. That doesn’t sit right with me. In fact, there’s a lot of shit that doesn’t sit right with me about our world, but that’s a story for another day.

Nevertheless, I’m still living my life and regardless of my melancholic screed in the previous paragraphs, I’m fucking stoked for Halloween. I can’t wait to show everyone what I’m wearing this year… provided that my costume pans out as well as I’m hoping, but even if it doesn’t… that’s fine. I’ll still enjoy the ride while it lasts.

I don’t think I can ever truly guarantee that I’ll be updating the blournal on a more regular basis going forward, but I’ll try. Ideally, I’d like to get to the point where I’m writing 400-800 words (possibly more) per day, but that’s kind of a pipe dream and I’m already dissatisfied with many of the blournal entries that I’ve shat out over the last twelve months. Wait, has this site been up for a year now? I know I posted my first blournal entry on the day before Halloween, so I can safely assume that was also the day where I made the site public. At the time, I was hemming and hawing over what I wanted it to be like, but I also wanted to start blogging (or “blournalling”) as soon as possible, so I made it public and figured that I would adjust and tinker as I went along. Since then, there’s been a shitload of trial-and-error and even now, the site’s still not quite what I’d like it to be. There’s times where I’d love to scrap everything and start this site over from scratch — new blournal, new gallery, new design, new everything — but that’s my chronic perfectionism speaking and I think it’s best if I ignore that. I may have said this in another blournal entry, but my website is currently a work-in-progress and it will always be a work-in-progress.

It’s bloody late and I should be bed, so I’ll wrap this up by saying good night and good morning.

Take care.